I agree with pdh that you will eventually find your way. And that is a wonderful thing. I think once you find what works for you your mead will take a life of it's own and you will be free to try different things.
I will tell you my experience. I have found that as I continue to stir things up to re-suspend them, it seems to concentrate the lees more somehow, and it takes less and less time for the detritus to sink back down. And then you will notice the stratification sooner as well when the top starts to clear some. If I do this for a few weeks (3-5), and then let it rest it clears pretty fast. When I used to rack and then wait it took months sometimes for it to clear. I feel it taste cleaner sooner as well. I find the sooner I get my mead clear, or semi-clear the faster it turns the corner to become drinkable. I also feel it develops a rounder mouth if I let it sit with the lees longer.
It's not uncommon now days to keep it in the lees for a few weeks, stabilize it, cold crash it and then rack in a couple more weeks. Now then, I will either add adjuncts if that's what's called for. Or, I'll fine it if I am not planning on adding anything more that would muck things up. Rack it when it's clear and then run it through the filter. Now I can drink it or age it.
I have found the sooner it's clear the sooner it starts to become drinkable. This now goes full circle: If I stir it on the lees for a few weeks I end up saving 2 or 3 times that waiting for it to clear if I rack it too soon.
Wine makers have reason to get it of the detritus so it doesn't become vegetal. This is where that fear came from. I see face bookers all the time think they should rack at 1020 and then wonder why things stall.
We have influences that have come to the mead world from wine makers that are not true in mead. And, we have beer making fears that have jumped the fence from that side as well. Legitimate for each arena. But are not the case any longer in the mead world. Some of these are fear of oxidation issues, fast racking, infection fears, nutrient additions (or lack there of), filtering/finning, lees exposure, open top primary's and more.
One things is for certain. Mead is very resilient, and there are many roads to the same destiny!